In a recent conversation with some friends, I put forward the question of whether or not any of them had an NZDating account. I quickly scanned their faces, knowing full well that none of them would admit to using one, instead looking for slight red flashes of embarrassment as two of them cast their eyes downwards. I find this interesting on a few levels:

a) I don’t understand the embarrassment (unless you’ve got a profile on this site, shame on you). Surely when you sign up to NZ Dating you are forgoing any privacy that previously existed, the whole aim of ‘the game’ being that you are advertising yourself in the hopes of dating. I think this bespeaks a much-overlooked aspect of the site. The act of being anonymous offers a sort of thrill, almost similar to the thrill that is offered by the creation of an avatar in second life or World of Warcraft. You are able to exist separate from your actual self, and through this, you create persona that you are inherently embarrassed about, because it IS NOT YOU.

b) Secondly, I find it interesting that they reasonably expect people to actually meet in real life. Surely a virtual relationship offers little but visual images, simulacra if you will, a copy of the real you. Perhaps I’m a die hard romantic, but what ever happened to love at first sight?

c) Interestingly, the animosity that we are supposed to have does not exist. I find in New Zealand that everyone knows someone who knows someone, who knows someone’s brother, who dated his flatmate (ad infinitum). Our Six degrees of separation seems to be all but measly two (portrayed expertly by 2 degrees mobile advertising campaign, I must admit).

We are inherently copying ourselves continually online, only really offering representations of ourselves. Surely this means that love at first sight online is never truly achievable. Love at first simulacra really doesn’t have the same ring now does it?

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